nomercles (nomercles) wrote,

I’m really frustrated by something, and I could use some advice on it, if you’re of a mind.

People accuse me of flirting a lot.  Like, constantly.  There’s two particular friends who bring it up almost every time they see me.  “Ooooh, you were fliiirting”, like we’re all still in grade school.  First, I don’t think I’m flirting.  Second, I’m demisexual and they know this.  Third, they know that I don’t really grasp the intricacies of that form of human interaction, and I am very uncomfortable with that lack of knowledge.  I understand that they’re teasing me, but I’m honestly confused.

This is what I think I’m doing: being friendly and charming, sometimes teasing, sometimes not, depending on the person(s) involved.  I make jokes, I laugh at their jokes, I divulge shallow but personable information, I encourage the same.  You know, all the stuff you do when you’re enjoying the company of another person.  I also cut people off at the knees or refuse to engage if someone gives me the willies.

This is just…getting to know people stuff, isn’t it?  Granted, it often comes out in a particularly Southern manner, which seems to confuse a lot of people where I live, but surely this behavior is normal!  If I’m actually flirting intentionally, I do entirely different things, and it’s usually awkward and strange and generally unsuccessful.  (Which is fine.  Still demisexual.)

Were these people just raised by wolves, or am I doing something wrong?

Tags: communication, flirting, social cues

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